Rain, rain. And not a sprinkle, or, as our Irish friends call it, a ‘soft’ day — stuff coming down, flooding shops on Melrose, etc, etc. So, then, soup. A vegan soup, warming and lovely, and one you can make in an hour, most of that spent smelling ginger and carrots cooking while you watch the TIVO’d SNL from last night. 

Carrot-Ginger Vegan Soup (Serves 4-5 as a Main Course)

1.5 Lbs./ 4 Cups Carrots, peeled and chopped. 

1/2 Onion, diced

1/4 C Ginger, peeled and diced

3 Tbsp Olive Oil

3 C Vegetable Broth

1 1/2 C. Orange Juice

Hot Sauce to taste

Coconut Milk

Heat oil in large pot on medium. Add ginger, onion, cook 3-5 mins until soft. 

Add carrots, broth. Simmer on medium until carrots are soft, 30-40 mins. 

Blend with immersion blender. Add orange juice. Return to simmer. 

Place in bowls with hot sauce added, to taste, and add decorative drizzle of coconut milk*. Serve with cornbread muffins. 

“I smell winter,” to quote the Housemartins, 

J. 

*You’ll have a lot of coconut milk left over. A lot. So, uh, make a curry tomorrow? 

In his elegant street-trained Matt Scudder novels, Lawrence Block at one point has his ex-cop, ex-alcoholic unlicensed P.I. say that a case is at a point where what it needs is GOYAKOD — or, as he explains to a confederate, ‘Get off Your Ass and Knock On Doors.’ It is, he notes, a reliable form of intelligence-gathering, and a neccessary one. 

I think of GOYAKOD a lot — when I sit down to write, as that’s the first step, or anytime the enormity of a task fazes me — if I can do one thing to start, it’s knock on a door. In cooking, the equivalent of GOYAKOD is actually making a dish — like I did this weekend, making Monkey Bread for the first time for a group brunch. A Southern treat — where hungy kids pick at it’s glazed balls of yeast dough like monkeys — it’s traditionaly made with rising dough. But who has time to rise and proof yeast dough? And so I set out to make cheater’s Monkey Bread —and, while I was at it, build up the flavor with some glazed and spiced nuts.  

Pumpkin-Pie Spice Monkey Bread with Chili-Glazed Pecans and Cream Cheese Icing

2 16-oz tins of Whole Foods Store Brands Buttermilk Biscuits 

2 sticks butter

1.5 C Brown Sugar

3/4 C. White Sugar

2 tablespoons Pumpkin Pie Spice

3/4 C Chili-Glazed Pecans. 

3) Pour butter/brown sugar combo into bundt pan. Bake for 35 minutes. Cool in Pan for 15. Depan. (If any doughspheres stick to the pan, remove gently with tongs and re-place in obvious negative space.)

4) Top with Cream Chese Icing — which, I learned through GOYAKOD, I made with a recipe that offered me 3x as much as I needed. 

CREAM CHEESE ICING, Properly Proportioned: 

1/3 Package Neuftachel Cream Cheese

1/3 Stick Butter

1/3 of a pound (roughly 1/3 of a package) Confectioner’s sugar

Vanilla and Lemon Zest to taste. 

Combine Butter and cream cheese with electric mixer.Add sugar. Beat with mixer on low for 10 mins. Add vanilla, lemon. Slather on cooled-yet-warmish cake.

Yes, I wear a hat like that on the weekends, sometimes, 

No, I did not have any Monkey Bread in my house after Brunch, 

J. 

A dear friend had a birthday recently, and requested dinner. Aside from the dessert — a request for Beet Cake — I was given free reign. So the next time you’re having six-to-eight people who ain’t fancy over, why not try …

THE BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA

Brined Asian Flavors Chicken Two Ways

Grilled Asparagus

Cold Chili-Sesame Almond Butter Noodles

Chocolate Beet Cake with Whip Cream and Raspberry-Balsamic Reduction

Brined Asian Flavors Chicken Two Ways

1) Take 1 Spatchcocked Whole Chicken and 5 Breasts; rinse; pat dry.

2) In large container, blend Brown Sugar and Salt at a 2:1 ratio — no more than 1/2 a cup of the Brown Sugar; add Soy Sauce, Siriacha Hot Sauce, Star Anise, Cinnamon Sticks and crushed fresh ginger medallions. Mix. Cool. Place chicken in prepared airtight container for 24 hours.

3) Prepare Charcoal Grill for medium heat. Remove Chicken from Brine. Grill, turning. When Whole Chicken is done, brush with mix of 2 Tbsp each Honey, Maple Syrup and Butter, plus 6Tbsp lime juice.

Grilled Asparagus

Trim 2 heads asparagus, bending stalk at woody end until it breaks. Rinse. Place in container with olive oil. Grill. Serve.

Cold Chili-Sesame Almond Butter Noodles

(I doubled this recipe, and everyone left with leftovers.)

1 16-Oz box Rice Noodles or What Noodles, thick.

1) Boil in 2 quarts salted water. Drain, but RESERVE SOME OF THE BOILING WATER (which, really, is pasta rule #1). Toss with chili-sesame oil. Cool.

2) Mix 1/2 C Almond Butter, Milk, Boiling Water and Chili-Sesame Oil until desired consistency/spice level is attained. Toss with noodles. Serve cold with chopped green onions and toasted sesame seeds.

Chocolate Beet Cake with Whip Cream and Raspberry-Balsamic Reduction

Has been featured here previously, but for:

Raspberry-balsamic Reduction

1 Pint frozen Raspberries

2 Tbsp White Sugar

3 Tbsp Water

Heat on low heat until mixture lightly bubbles, berries burst and liquor thickens.

Add Balsamic Vinegar to Taste.

Cooking is something we do for, and with, friends.

Also, seriously, I’m taking questions. 

J. 

Winter and fall equal soup, and so I reached into the freezer to pull out a little something I’d been saving — a ziplock bag of leftover grilled asparagus from throughout the summer. Now, you could do the non-grilled version of this soup, but, good lord, the grilled has a difference you can taste. Also, this soup has some kick, and it’ll warm up any winter night, trust me. 

CREAM OF GRILLED ASPARAGUS-JALAPENO SOUP

2 Bunches Asparagus, grilled (Approx) (If using fresh asparagus, boil longer; alternately, roast and broil Asparagus in pan under broiler, with light misting of olive oil.) 

3 Cups Chicken or Vegetable Stock

2 Cups Water

2 Roasted Jalapenos (Place Jalapenos under broiler, turning, until skin blackens; place in closed paper bag so steam can loosen skins. After 15 mins, remove skins and seeds.) 

1 Pint Heavy Whipping Cream

Bring broth and water to low boil. Add asparagus. Boil until soft. 

Use immersion blender to blend asparagus until smoothish. Add Jalapenos and blend again. Pour cream into large container, and add hot soup half-ladle by half ladle, stirring constantly, until cream/soup mixture is warmed slowly. (If you just pour the cream into the soup, it’ll curdle. Which is bad.) Add cream/soup mixture to remainder of soup. Stir gently. Serve with toast; alternately, use some reserved cream to pour on top to make an attractive design before serving.

It is, in fact, good food. 

J. 

For the same reasons we write — sheer vanity, to take part in a social conversation, to get to know who we, ourselves are. And because there’s such pleasure in the result, and new things to learn. I’m going to keep writing here once  a week or so, if that’s okay with you. But for a lot of you, I will literally see you at dinner. 

SRIRACHA-MOLE

2 Avocados

Juice of 2 Lemons 

Juice of 2 Limes

Salt

Sriracha hot sauce. (The one with the Got-Damn Rooster.)

Combine. Enjoy. Think while you savor. 

See you soon, 

J. 

I recently got a juicer. and I even more recently (if by ‘recently’ you mean ‘yesterday’) had a taco party, so I put away the Slow Cooker — Ron Swanson’s favorite indoor kitchen appliance, with “a grill” and “fire” taking the outdoor division — and got out the juicer. I ate like a cartoon animal yesterday, dear reader, and while it was all good, it was all-encompassing. So I just wanted something light. 

And then I looked at what was in the fridge. Because wasting food makes me feel like an a-hole these days. So, I made this. 

Carrot-Pineapple-Jalapeno Juice

2 Lbs carrots, cleaned

1 pound pre-cut Pineapple spears someone was nice enough to bring to your party

1 jalapeno, ideally from Brian Udovich’s Garden. 

Juice. Drink. 

This in no way makes up for the jalapeno-turkey bacon breakfast tacos earlier, but it’s not bad. 

J. 

First up, let me note that I cannot make a true Mole any more than, to quote Neal Stephenson, you can translate the word ‘f**kface’ into Japanese. This disc is an approximation of the earthy, rich, chocolate-nut flavors of traditional and true Mexican Mole, but that shouldn’t be construed as a claim that I know what I’m doing. It’s not a true mole, but, seriously, it’s delicious.

This recipe is adapted from Cook’s Illustrated — of course — and in a quantity where you can make 2 9x13 trays of chicken to make taco meat for a bunch — so the cooking time is extra long to facilitate the chicken breaking up and being extra fork-tender. It’s crazy tasty, and the longer it sits in the sauce in the fridge, the better.

CHICKEN MOLE

2 Tbsp Ground Ancho Chili

1/2 Tsp Ground Chipotle Chili

6 Tbsp vegetable Oil

2 medium onions, minced

1 Tsp cinnamon

1/4 Tsp cloves

4 Oz bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped (Note; I doubled this again after doubling everything; I’m very, very glad I did.)

4 tsp garlic, minced

4 C low-sodium chicken broth

2 14.5 Oz cans diced tomatoes, drained

1/2 C Raisins

4 Tbsp sesame Seeds

1/2 C slivered almonds

1/2 C almond butter

7 Pounds chicken thighs

Preheat oven to 400. Add oil to very large high-sided skillet or deep, thick-bottomed pot. Cook onion until soft, 5-7 mins. Add chili, cinnamon, cloves, chocolate, cook on low for 2 mins, until melted. add garlic and cook 30 seconds. Add broth, tomatoes, raisins, sesame seeds, almonds, almond butter. Cook until thickened, 10 mins.

Use blender/food processor to blend; I used an immersion blender, carefully, in 3 batches. Pour /14 of sauce into 2 9*13 pyrex dishes. Add chicken. Cover with sauce. Place in oven. at 1 hr mark, exchange top for bottom and turn chicken in sauce. after 2 hours remove, cool, store. Reheat to serve as tacos and diced cilantro.

With Thanksgiving coming — for Americans, anyhow — a few quick notes about Cranberry Sauce. Although, really Cranberry Sauce is amazing anytime. I made this batch to serve with slow-grilled Pork Chuleta and it was terrific. I believe food should taste like what it is, and be made from what it is, and hate the tyranny of canned cranberry sauce. This stuff is impossibly easy to make.

Another great thing about this recipie is that, for once, it’s a rare case where freezing a raw material helps the flavor and texture. Freezing expands water into ice, which breaks cell walls — and makes the berries break down easier and faster. (During cranberry season, when you buy cranberries, just buy a few extra bags and put them directly in the freezer; when cranberries aren’t in season, you’ll be glad you did whether making sauce or scones or cranberry upside-down cake.)

CRANBERRY SAUCE FROM SCRATCH

1 Bag frozen cranberries, picked over for stems and rinsed. 

4 Tbsp water

1 Tbsp Lemon Juice

1.5 Tbsp Lemon Zest (or to taste)

3 Tbsp Sugar (or to taste, but not too much; you want this to taste of berries, not sugar.)

Combine in thick-bottomed pot. Heat on medium heat until boiling. Stir often, adding water if necessary, until berries break down. Cool to room temperature. Store in fridge for no more than 7 days. Serve at desired temperature with anything you see fit. (Some like a temperature contrast — cool sauce on warm roasts — but I prefer it room temperature, to mellow the flavors). 

(A dollop of the finished product.)

Seriously, that jelly stuff from the can with the lines on it is disgusting, 

J. 

Fall baking!

This is of course kind of a joke, as this was the view outside my window in L.A. this aft.

You do not walk down my block to see the colors turn; you walk down it location scouting for The Shield. Regardless, autumn — and autumn flavors — are here. So with that in mind, I wanted to make these:

RASPBERRY-ALMOND PUMPKIN-PIE-SPICE SCONES

Adapted from Mark Bittman

2 cups flour

4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

3 Tbsp Almond Meal (If you don’t have any just fine-grind some of your sliced almonds in your coffee grinder.)

Pumpkin Pie Spice to Taste

Combine in food processor. Add

5 TBSP Cold Butter in pieces. Pulse.

Whisk 2 Eggs and 3/4 C heavy Cream. Add Dry ingredients. Fold in

1/2 c slivered almonds

3/4 c frozen Raspberries (DON’T Skip this — wash and freeze the berries on a paper towel; they’ll survive folding and baking.)

Tap onto floured board, Briskly knead 10 times, adding flour to prevent sticking.

Form into circle.

Brush with  1 beaten egg, sprinkle with 3 TBSP Brown Sugar and Pumpkin Pie Spice to taste.

Cut into six wedges. Place on parchment-lined baking sheet.

Bake at 450 until golden brown, 9-13 mins.

Eat as is. But I may have fresh cranberry sauce in my fridge. 

J. 

Well, hello. After four weeks of travel — culminating in the tale of the Five-Spice Science Cookie, but we’ll talk about that later — I am back in my kitchen. I didn’t want to regale you with tales of Toronto or Austin cuisine, which expanded my culinary horizons but not my jeans. Is this thing on?

In my travels — the night of one of the best homemade meals I’ve had in years — a friend had the San Antonio Women’sLeague cookbook from 2003 or, possibly 1903. After all, the Treacle Scone recipe noted it was “the gift of a Scottish noblewoman”; I immediately bolted upright, shouting “Get me 22 Episodes.”

And one of the recipes was for Chocolate Beetnik  Cake, which incorporated a cup and a half of mashed beets. And I flashed back on my mom’s — and my — chocolate sauerkraut cake, which rinsed and pulverized sauerkraut to trap flavor, add moisture and change the flavor profile of the cocoa with acid.  

The recipe calls for mashed beets or beet baby food, but this was no time for  half-measures. Beets were boiled and mashed, with three medium beets a skotch short of the 1.5 cups.

This cake also reminded me of the best thing I learned from Harold McGee’s new Keys to good Cooking, which is that no amount of timing or lore will substitute for checking you food in the oven with your hands and senses. I had to double the baking time of this cake, and I believe it was worth it. (See below test toothpicks from, clockwise, 40 Mins, 1hr, 1h20m.)

Chocolate Beetnik Cake

Preheat oven to 350 Degrees. Combine 1 1/2 cups sugar 3 and eggs. Combine 1 1/2 cups oil and 1 1/2 cups  mashed beets. Add beet-oil mixture to sugar-egg mixture. Whisk. Whisk 1 1/2 cups flour, 1/4 tsp soda, 3/4 tsp  salt and 1/2 cup cocoa. Add to wet mixture.

Butter a bundt pan and sprinkle it with cocoa. (Sprays of oil/tflour, or butter-and-flour, can leave unattractive white streaks.)

Pour batter into pan carefully (note shabby thermometer-cover to prevent batter loss).

Bake for 40 minutes, or until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. (The recipe said 30 mins; I baked with my finicky oven for 1 hr.20 mins.)

Let cool on rack; depan to plate.

Glaze warm cake with a two-two-one mix of sugar, bourbon and cocoa.

Serve with whip cream. 

Extra-Scary Treacle Scone Recipe Bonus!

Call up Mystery Incorporated for .. “The Spooky Scones of the Scottish Noblewoman!”

James.