1) Buy three to four ripe avocadoes. Touch them, in the store. They should yield lightly — too much resistance speaks of inflexible immaturity, too little resistance intimates the slow decay of time passed. Halve. Remove pit. Briefly meditate on bygone Grade 4 science fairs. Scoop flesh free. 

2) Add salt, pepper, crushed garlic, fresh lemon juice, hot sauce and diced onions, tomatoes, and jalapenos, all to taste. You can cheat with Pico de Gallo salsa; do not let the attainment of perfection keep you from the enjoyment of the moment. Finding the mix of things you like is part of why you’re doing this. 

3) Put on that Remix of Nina Simone’s ‘Black is the Color of My True Love’s Hair.’ Chop through avocado flesh with short, sharp knife for duration of song, turning often. The song is irrelevant, really, but really, take your time. Think about things as you chop, until you return to chopping with fresh eyes. The ideal texture I look for means small shards of uncut avocado, cool and almost al dente in the less-dense, more cut avocados and flavors surrounding them. 

4) Place a piece of Saran Wrap flush with the surface of the guacamole to prevent browning, which happens when air reaches the surface of the guacamole. Golden lads and ladies must, as chimney sweepers, come to dust. But we can slow cruel age down. (Any leftover guacamole should be sealed in a airtight ziplock with all air pushed out and frozen; mix it, thawed, one-to-one with a fresh avocado, and you will almost not know the difference despite the cell-wall-shattering coldness of the stay in the freezer.)

5) Before serving, remove Saran Wrap and ask a friend for their take on the flavor mix, which has now changed over time — acrid acids and oils mellowing, slow spices blooming, the cool earthy smear of the avocado now rich with rawness. Ask your friend for their take on the mix of flavors, as it will not only make things taste better, and be fun, but also because cooking with friends is a source of joy and comfort, and we cook more honestly — with more awareness and with more of a sense of occasion — for friends than we often do for ourselves. 

6) Serve with Tortilla Chips.