Back in 2005, it was decided that having a role model for children who ate a diet of solely cookies might not, in fact, be in the service of the public good. Thus, Cookie Monster was told — by Hoots the Owl — how “A Cookie is a Sometime Food.” This was a deliberate attempt to explain to kids that, yes, fruits and vegetables might be better for you than cookies, and that fruits and vegetables are “an anytime food,” and thus the muppets did what they could to prevent the spread of childhood obesity. (There was plenty of controversy around this — people complaining that Cookie Monster had sold out — and far less around the very logical link between corn subsidies and obesity, which is how your and my tax dollars go to help guarantee a minimum price for corn which is then, in the name of profit, turned into high-fructose corn syrup and used to ensure you can buy a rain barrel of Mr. Pibb for 49 cents which will then give you health problems that your and my tax dollars will go towards solving. But then again, Muppets have les lobbying and PR money than huge agricultural combines. And I digress.)

Side dishes are, essentially, how most of us consume vegetables, and as such, they’re a great way to figure out what you like, and how. (Dating, my shrink told me, isn’t a necessarily a process to find what you like; it’s a process to also find why you like what you like, and refine what it is you like. Which is both very true and how I found myself on the receiving end of a lengthy polemic about how boiling a lobster was “like Auschwitz” about two years ago. On the bright side, I did find out that I did not like vegetarians with no sense of moral proportion. And that the phrase “Lob-schwitz” makes me laugh.) Cooking is in no small part about experimenting, and about refining your palate, and about trying new things. one of these recipes is totally invented — I saw the things I liked, and combined them, and the only thing I regretted was not having fresh mint.  

Side dishes are also a great place to practice basic kitchen skills, or try out new tools. The one recipe below, for example, uses a mandoline — which is incredibly dangerous, sending almost as many people to the hospital as the #1 most risky kitchen activity, bagel-cutting — but which, despite the danger, makes amazingly thin slices. And I also used my microplane rasp, a kitchen tool I love. (They say that if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail; what they don’t tell you is that sometimes, hammering everything is fun — my microplane grater is stupid enjoyable to use.) Vegetables and fruits are anytime foods, and they’re great — and more importantly, a fun place to try and figure out how you can alter recipes and experiment with flavors so you can make anytime foods fun to make, and to eat, every time. Here are two side dish recipies — one a new invention of my own, the other a crowd-pleaser great for barbecues. 

JICIMA-BLOOD ORANGE SALAD

1) Peel one small-to-medium jicima. Use mandoline on super-thin setting to cut — CAREFULLY. Peel two blood oranges. Segment. Cut segments in thirds. Toss with 2 tablespoons olive oil, or to taste. 

2) Add fresh herbs and spices to taste. When I made this, I microplaned ginger and jalapeno over it to taste, with some fresh ground pepper; it had a little bite. And I wished I’d had some fresh mint. 

3) Chill before serving — you want this to crunch, and it should. Serves 4-6 as a side, 2-3 as a main. 

JALAPENO COLE SLAW (Reverse-engineered from Golden State on Fairfax)

1) Mix 24 oz. cabbage or broccoli slaw ‘mix’ as commercially available in large bowl (or, frankly, large Tupperware, which just makes everything easier)  with 1:1 ratio of light ranch dressing and apple cider vinegar to taste. (This is where you get to decide if you like your slaw with a creamy Midwestern blanket of dressing or a more clear-and-clean California-style light anointing — adjusting both the ratio and the amount of the dressings will significantly adjust the texture and taste of this slaw.) I also have, in the past, used cider vinegar and a spicy-lemon soy ‘vegannaise’ at a 2/3 cider vinegar/ 1/3 ‘vegganaise’ ratio for the benefit of vegan friends. Again, experiment. 

2) Cut 2 Jalapeno peppers to razor-thin slices. (I use this Kyrocera ceramic paring knife, as seen in the top picture, which is becoming my Excalibur of kitchen tools — it fits my hand and makes me feel like a king.) Again, you can add more or less if you like — and I slice the peppers rather than dice them so that people can pick them out if they want. And as ever, be careful slicing jalapenos and afterwards, wash your hands well before touching your eyes/mouth/nose/swimsuit area. 

3) Add celery salt, black pepper to taste; toss; cover; let chill in fridge for at least 4 hours, so flavors can mingle. Toss (or shake Tupperware) often. Serves several, ideally in proximity to shade and grilled meats.